You’re looking for the top self-help books for breakups, but “Self Help” almost feels like it has a negative connotation to it. It can feel weird shopping in that section of the bookstore as you wonder if the person next to you is judging which book you pick up (pro tip: nobody cares!). What kind of person needs to read a self-help book? and if a therapist charges hundreds of dollars per session how is a $30 book supposed to help?
What if we reframed self-help to “personal development”? and instead, consider these books as an investment in our overall personal growth. You may actually come to love shopping in the self-help section of the bookstore if you view it this way.
Breakups are painful and often isolating experiences, but books have the power to make you feel less alone while simultaneously empowering you with information… and nobody can you judge you for wanting that!
This post is all about the top 5 self-help books for breakups.
Top 5 Self-Help Books for Breakups
If you’re still feeling any skepticism around self-help books it’s understandable, but the key is in remembering that your healing will still take time. You can’t just read one book and expect to be a new person, that may seem obvious, but on some level that’s what most people believe as they’re filling up their shopping cart.
The truth is you could read about the same topic over and over again and it may still take six months for it to really sink in. Sometimes all it takes is reading it from a different perspective, and sometimes it involves reading a book slowly and trying out each suggestion like an experiment. The best way to explore self-help topics is in tandem with a therapist, but if you can’t access therapy at this time then the books alone will suffice.
Below is a list of the top 5 self-help books post-breakup (according to Sipping on Gratitude) in order of when you should read them. If you’re not an avid reader you could also download the audiobook version and listen to it during your commute to and from work or while you clean the house.
Top 5 Books to Read Post-Breakup
1. Attached by Amir Levine M.D. and Rachel s.f heller, m.a
Start your healing journey post-breakup with Attached! This book is life-changing when it comes to understanding our approach to relationships, and the patterns we fall into. Diving into attachment theory with a breakup fresh on your mind will help you spot what triggers arguments for you and allow you to analyze your reactions. This book helps you to determine what your attachment style is, explains what attachment theory means, and how you can utilize this information to transform your relationships.
Attachment theory stems from our childhood and family patterns and can be applied to all of our relationships romantic or not. Reading Attached will provide you with deeper insights as to why your relationship did not work out (you likely had conflicting attachment styles). Are you anxious, avoidant, a mix of both, or secure? and how does your attachment style relate to or interact with others? This is key information in providing a base understanding of yourself, your needs, and areas for growth within a relationship.
2. Judgment detox, release the beliefs that hold you back from living a better life by gabrielle bernstein
It’s likely that while reading Attached a lot of crap bubbled up to the surface for you, and that’s okay, it’s a good thing! You might be angry with your ex or even yourself after learning more about attachment theory and how you both showed up to the relationship. You may be feeling as though the breakup was unfair and be using terms like “should have” and other blaming language. This is the perfect time to read Judgement Detox by Gabrielle Bernstein and clear out all that judgment.
Judgment detox should really be required reading for all adults! It’s going to help you release any judgments you may be holding on to and give you tangible practices that you can use moving forward. We all hold judgment, it’s part of the human experience, this book helps to dissect our judgemental thoughts and provides an alternative system so you can release your judgment and feel at peace.
judging yourself or others even if it’s “justified” brings your energy levels down, and our judgment tends to be particularly high post-breakup. This book shows you how you can choose compassion instead and lifts all that weight you’ve been carrying on your shoulders.
3. set boundaries, find peace a guide to reclaiming yourself by nedra glover tawwab
You’ve learned about attachment theory and how it can help you better navigate your relationships and you’ve released the judgment you were feeling toward your ex and yourself. Next, you’ll want to dive into Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
Nedra masterfully outlines what boundaries are, the types of boundaries we have, the different levels of boundaries, how we can set and honor them, and much much more. When we’re going through a breakup it’s easy to manipulate and even break boundaries in order to feel some temporary relief. This book outlines how we can overcome negative thought patterns that tempt us to stray from our boundaries which is an important skill when navigating a breakup.
Not only will you learn about setting boundaries in your romantic relationships but the book will also cover boundaries within the workplace, friendships, family, and even with yourself. This is a fantastic way to rebuild self-love, respect, and confidence that will carry through into future relationships.
4. the 5 love languages, the secret to love that lasts by gary chapman
This book is all about the different love languages we require in a relationship. Most people enter into a relationship treating their partner the way they themselves wish to be treated without considering that we all have different needs. The way we show our love can also be different from the way we wish to receive love and the key to a healthy relationship is understanding what this looks like for both partners.
Again, the concepts in this book can be applied to both romantic and non-romantic relationships. It would serve you well to practice the concepts with your loved ones so that you’re well-equipped by the time you enter into a new partnership. The bonus of this book is that your familial and platonic relationships will be fruitful as well.
5. the universe has your back, transform fear to faith by gabrielle bernstein
We’re closing this list off with another Gabby Bernstein book! The Universe Has Your Back is a powerful book to read when you need to be reminded of how supported you are. Breakups have a way of shaking us up at our core and making us forget about our internal power. This book will show you how to tap into your inner strength and have faith that everything is working out in your favor.
In the Universe Has Your Back Gabby touches on thought patterns and how we all have the power to transform our lives by shifting our thoughts. Similar to Judgment Detox, this book has tangible tips and tools you can use to release negative belief systems and tap into your higher self.
This book will leave you feeling like you can conquer the world, which is exactly what you need post-breakup.
What’s Next?
Books have the power to change our lives! they shape the way we view others as well as ourselves and empower us with the knowledge we didn’t otherwise have. They can be an important tool to help us manage grief and loss and they teach us different ways of processing our emotions. When going through a breakup you often want to spend a lot of time alone and avoid social interaction making books the perfect companion. Perhaps after reading the above top 5 self-help books for breakups you will be a self-help book lover! Search for other areas in your life that you could use a guide and have fun browsing your local bookstore for the perfect book!
This post was all about the Top 5 Self Help Books for Breakups!
Thank you so much for reading this blog post by Sipping on Gratitude a personal growth and development blog.
If you’re looking for more resources to get you through a breakup check out:
- How to Get Over a Breakup Fast in 5 Easy Steps
- Listen to my curated Breakup Playlist! (play in order)
Other topics you can find on the blog are self-care, mindset & productivity head to the navigation bar at the top of the page to view.
